This song has some really intense emotions in it that I’ve been hiding from the world for a long time. This song is about my struggle with alcohol abuse and how hard it is for me to open up and talk about it. When I was in my younger 20’s, I had issues with drinking far too much. To the point where I was blacking out 4+ nights a week, endangering others, and myself. I could see it becoming a problem but I honestly didn't care. I was too concerned with being afraid of growing up, figuring out my life, and coping with a heartbreak that numbing the pain and forgetting was all I wanted to do. I'd find myself in a constant cycle of spiraling out of control, then slowly trying to get myself back together. That cycle happened so often that at some point I started to think I just wasn't strong enough to fix myself.

At points in my life it had affected me so much that I was embarrassed to be around people, even my family. It got to where I didnt even want to see anyone because I was afraid of what they thought of me and how I would be treated. And that turned into another mental factor I was trying to deal with on top of alcoholism. It sometimes brought me to the thought that maybe it would be better if I just didn't exist. 

I'm grateful everyday I am alive and present on this earth. And I'm grateful I was able to turn the corner and get the help I needed to get my life back together. I think it's important for me to share my story because I know there are other people like me and I know it is a difficult thing to open up about. If I can help better the life of just one person with my story, that would make it worth it. You are not alone, you are loved, and I hope nothing but the best for you. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here. help